Words won't come..

So much on my mind, but no words are coming to explain how I feel…sometimes encouragers need to be encouraged too….

As I was walking to my car, heading back to work from my lunch break…the lyrics from Casting Crowns song “East to West” came to me…

“I know you've washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
But by the truth your word reveals
I'm not holding on to you
But you’re holding on to me
You’re holding on to me”

Two of my close girlfriends asked me what was on my mind…I couldn’t even explain it to them..no words could express how I felt..how I feel off and on lately..

I am tired of feeling like I let people down…tired of feeling like I need to be “super Christian” for people to respect me…
I am held to high standards from other people (who will remain nameless at this point)..standards that sometimes seem unattainable.
I want to know that I am loved for being ME…for just BEING and not DOING..

God has recently tested me in the area of trusting him and him alone..I say I trust him and trust him above all, but I learned recently that it was a harder lesson that I thought I already knew.
Sometimes hardship comes so that we can grow in God..actually it almost is always the case.

Over the past few weeks, I have been tried and tested in a few different areas and I am standing on what the word of God says that “we shall come forth like GOLD when tried”.

I could go on and on about all of the reasons why I could FEEL this way, but we are not supposed to go by our feelings, rather by the word of God. I wrote a song on not letting my circumstances dictate my life..and only living by what the word of God says..
I will share the song tomorrow.